don't argue with delusions

I have gone back and forth about the right medium for this (memoir, novel, abnormal psychology textbook) and think that a blog is probably a good way to start. We'll see how this goes. The ironic thing about this though, is that my mother is really concerned that her information or her ideas are being broadcasted or stolen over the internet; and here I am doing just that.... I suppose delusions really do have some sort of basis in reality.  That said, I am wondering how it is that Barry Manilow got to be my father? Maybe it's the curly hair Jew fro - I have a curly hair Jew fro. Maybe it's because he writes the songs that the whole world sings - I too write the songs. To be fair, this delusion is about 20 years old.. but it does illustrate the absurdities that I have been told my entire life.

So why is it exactly that I have started blogging about this now?

My mother has ups and downs, and the past year and a half have been fairly down. So down, that I'm starting to wonder if this has become her new base line. Will I have to expect phone calls at 2am, and agree that my real father is a Nazi, and that my family put poison in her food, indefinitely? I hope not, but for now I (try) to go along with it. It is impossible to argue or reason with delusions, so conceding to them is the only way that I can have some sort of relationship with my mom. I also am very aware of the difference between her and her psychosis; I know that the person that taught me how to read, and made me mac and cheese as a kid is in there somewhere. BUT going along with delusions can sometimes mess with your head and that's why I'm writing...
The purpose is definitely not to mock her, belittle her, exploit her thoughts, or even glorify mental illness.. but it is a way for me to try sort through these things, try to laugh a bit, and maybe let others in similar situations know that I too am struggling. Schizophrenia sucks, let's talk about it,

Sincerely,
The Daughter of Barry Manilow